5 Slams That Will Make You Never Want to Skate Again

on Wednesday, 18 December 2013. Posted in a

WARNING: This article is not for the faint of heart.

Slams are a part of skateboarding. If you really want to push yourself, you have to accept the fact that you're going to get hurt... Like, really hurt. Like a compound fracture or a ruptured urethra - as in no boners for a month on Doc's orders!

We enjoy watching these slams less and less as we grow older, but we have managed to calm our queasiness to present to you The 5 Slams That Will Make You Never Want To Skate Again.

  • Ed Templeton & Friends

    Toy Machine's 1996 vid "Welcome to Hell" set the standard for rails, gaps, and slams. The slam section remains one of the gnarliest we have seen to this day, with highlights including Ed's Purple Nuts and the Boston Broken Neck, courtesy of Rob Hot. At least, we always thought it was a broken neck, but it turns out that Hot somehow avoided that fate in spite of his best attempt at doing a scorpion from hell. View the insanity here.
  • Richard King

    Before El Toro, there was the Leap of Faith: a two-story drop at Point Loma High School that Jamie Thomas made famous when he tried to ollie it in Zero's 1997 classic "Thrill of it All." Of course, not long after Thomas' attempt came Richard King, who arrived to try his hand. King easily cleared the rail, but kicked out on the way down. The result? A compound fracture and notoriety, but probably not the kind of fame he was seeking. Broken bones here.
  • Jake Brown

    Live and on national television, Jake Brown almost died after falling 45 feet from the air onto his back. The impact of the slam was so great that both Brown's shoes were flung off his feet, but instead of submitting to darkness, the tough-as-nails Aussie asked for a cigarette and a beer and walked off on his own power. Brown somehow came out of the situation alright, with only a minor concussion, minor wrist break, and bruises to his liver and lungs. Which, all things considered, is pretty good... Near Death here.
  • Stacy Lowery

    Seeing this slam in a 411 commercial for Transit Skateboard's (Mike V's old company) as impressionable young lads, the SkateMore team was forever scared of fucking with handrails. Picture this - attempted backside salad grind on a kinked handrail. Dude misses the rail with his feet but sacks directly on a point kink. Boom boom, ruptured urethra and a growing blood stain on Lowery's jeans. Watch if you dare.
  • Heath Kirchart

    It wouldn't be a Heath part without at least one slam interspersed in the middle of it. For "This Is Skateboarding" Heath decided that, instead of 50-50'ing the crusty-ass ledge you see above (the image is incorrectly reversed), he would just stick and faceplant all the way to the bottom of the stairs. According to Heath, he couldn't feel the right side of his face for months afterwards. View the slam, along with the rest of his part in Emerica's "Stay Gold."

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