Money Grab: 12 More Terrible Skate Products

on Wednesday, 29 April 2015.

It seems in today's era of hyper-social sedentary living most kids just want to take the easy way out. And for those who actually dare to avert their eyes from the inviting glow of technology to risk a little blood and sweat, it still always seems to be by the path of least resistance. So is it any wonder most of the "products" on this list are basically skateboard training wheels? Sadly, there are too many terrible skate products out there to compile into one list, but we do our best to narrow it down for you. So chain your wallet to your belt loop and prepare to be ripped off again, this is Money Grab: 12 More Terrible Skate Products.

Krainkn Pro Skateboard: Why bother snapping an ollie and scratching your board when you could just attach 'handle bars' to your deck so the board jumps with you? And for the low, low price of $119.99 you too can soon become a Krainkn Pro Skateboarder!


Wheel Bone: Yet another desperate attempt to keep those darn wheels on your board from moving! Just attach the wheel bone to your deck and you'll be standing motionless in no time!


Caseboard Electric Skateboard: Doesn't it just sound fun to say? And unlike other electric skateboard this one has the added douchebag factor of collapsing into a briefcase for easy carrying when you're not not pushing around town... Double negative.


Hendo Hoverboard: Sounds too good to be true right? Well that's because it is! This thing is basically a giant magnet hovering on top of another magnet. Just because you wear skate shoes doesn't make it a skateboard.


Ollie Flaps: So that one very specific part of your shoe doesn't get scuffed.


Skater's Tape: Or if you want to be more thorough with your shoe protection wrap your feet in tape... Because that makes sense.


Skater Trainers: Probably the most popular way to embarrass yourself because they're a bit more discrete than other training wheels. You should still feel ashamed to use them.


Soft Trucks: The best way to look soft on a skateboard is to ride Soft Trucks.


Kahuna Big Stick: Just when you thought you couldn't hate longboarders any more, here comes the Big Stick! Because who likes to use their legs to skate? That shit is so passe bro.


Syck Trix Indoor Ollie Training Board: Because when you spell your name with an 'X' you know shit's gonna get XTREME!!! And by xtreme we mean strapping two pillows to a skate deck and trying to pass if off as a legitimate product for "training" to do ollies. Better step up to some Soft Trucks if you wanna try 180's.


Tail Devil: Alright, we'll be honest, this one might not actually belong on the list. I mean, who hasn't wanted to pull a Michael J. Fox and skitch on the back of a Jeep with the tail sparking out? But to us it's a brief moment of awe and wonder before the effect wears off and your left with nothing more than a classic razor tail.


Wheel Shields: Eliminates wheel bite, keeps you dry on wet roads and allows longboarders to invent new tricks. Even if there is any truth to these claims, the fact that Wheel Shields attempt to improve the quality of longboarding is something we simply can't support.


Wheelee Board: To replace all conventional skateboards. Cory Kennedy could still tre flip it.

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